Respect my Power

Let me tell you about the kind of power I wield over my parents. First the back story: the other day, I was feeling very full and ready to unburden myself of excess waste. My parents put me in one of my favorite places, the vibrating chair. So, while they were not watching closely (they were getting the laundry ready to go), I pooped EVERYWHERE. It escaped the confines of my diaper and got all over my blanket, caked the fabric of the vibrating chair itself, plus gooped up my clothes, my legs, my back and my stomach. I was feeling pretty proud of myself at that point, but the crowning glory is when I convinced my mom, by looking so cute and huggable, to come over and lift me out of the chair. I knew I got her good when she yelped in dismay to see everything, now including her hands, covered in poop!

And yet, I tell you…this is the kind of unsurpassable power I possess…they DID NOT EVEN GET MAD AT ME! Can you believe that? I messed up everything within a two foot radius of my rear end and they had the gall to SMILE. Of course, I could see the veiled looks of disgust on their faces as they cleaned up after me, the way the balled everything up and threw it into the bathtub for a good soak before adding it to the laundry pile, and the way they gingerly pulled my extremely soiled onesie over my head and shoulders, careful not to get poop on my face.

Although my mom will tell you she had to restrain me from putting my dirty fingers in my mouth, I assure you, I was only testing her to ascertain the extent of her already formidable mothering skills. Even I, an infant, know this: one does not eat one’s own feces—it’s in tremendously bad taste.

Now it’s time to take a nap, and dream of new and improved ways to soil myself.

In any event, I just wanted to share with you all just how much influence and control I now exert after just two months of living here. You know you are jealous….

[Editor’s note: in the picture above, Evi sleeps very soundly after her mighty poo.]

Post Turkey Day Update

So we meant to blog the weekend after Thanksgiving, but somehow that Saturday and Sunday were swallowed up by this GIANT mound of laundry that had developed and needed to be neutralized. Who knew that a single child, weighing in at fewer than 10 pounds, could generate more dirty clothing than two adults? Now that everything is clean again, we are finally able to give you our Thanksgiving update.

We originally thought it might be nice to spend the holiday as a small, nuclear family, but we had enough friends who were also far from home that we decided to host a substantial party. All told, we had 8 adults and 3 children here. I cooked a 21-pound turkey and about 5 gallons of stuffing. Katie made her famous cranberry bruschetta, yams, green bean casserole, and mashed potatoes. We had plenty of wine, including a sparkling Malbec, and a good time was had by all. So many leftovers, too. I used the turkey bones to make a delicious turkey noodle soup, and we enjoyed the leftovers until they petered out today, over a week later.

We've also taken Evi to two holiday parties since Thanksgiving. She is turning into a real party animal. She always cries when we leave...or maybe we leave because she cries. There is a cloud of mystery around this latter point. We don't keep her out too late, we are usually pretty tired by about 9pm. I guess we are the real party poopers here.

There are new pictures up at flickr (click the link over in the right hand column), including some of her smiling and laughing. It's really hard to get her laughing and smiling because every time Katie or I trots out the camera, she gets interested in what we are doing and stops looking amused. She may also be camera shy. This last point, too, is shrouded in mystery.

I am readying myself for the onslaught of finals, starting at the end of this week, but then I will happy to have some time off. Katie and I are traveling to the Northwest during the holidays, so we are looking forward to seeing family and friends that we haven't seen in a while, and looking forward to introducing them to Evelyn Rose. I've decided not to return to Hofstra, and I am looking forward to being more present for Katie and Evi starting in January.