Customer Service

I have been trying to find a OB/GYN affiliated with Methodist hospital. The following is a brief glimpse into this process:

Insurance Company Customer Service Representative (La’Shantisha): “How can I help you?”
Bird: “I am trying to find an obstetrician at Methodist hospital.”
La’Shantisha: Okay.

*Three minute interlude of some wild tap-tapping of the keyboard while La’Shantisha maneuvers through what I can only guess is the top level of Tetris*

La’Shantisha: “How do you spell that?”
Bird: “Spell what?”
La: “The doctor’s name.”
Bird: “What doctor?”
La: “Dr. Obst…Obste…Ob..”
Bird: “An obstetrician is a type of doctor, not the name of a doctor.”
La: “Oh. What kind of doctor is he?”
Bird: “An OB/GYN”
La: “Oh. We only have listings for Obstetrics.”
Bird: *silence*
La: “Where is the doctor located?”
Bird: “I am trying to FIND a doctor!”
La: “Where?”
Bird: “At NY Methodist hospital!”
La: “We don’t have any doctor affiliations with that hospital.”
Bird: “Oh.”
La: “For our records, can you tell me if this service was helpful for you today?”
Bird: *incredulous, exasperated sigh*
La: “You can say yes or no.”
Bird: “Let’s say no.”